A black cross on my door

Well hello my dear readers,

Did you miss me? What you mean 'no'? How dare you. I shall be most offended by your lack of loyalty.

Just kidding. I know you missed me really. You were just messing with me. Come here and give me a hug. Please.

*sniff*
No one loves me.
*sniff*

Anyway, I bet you've been wondering why I've been absent from here for the past week so I'm going to tell you. Well, I going to tell you even if you weren't wondering so you may as well make yourself comfortable.
See, dear reader, I wasn't feeling very well. There I was ready to type some wonderful, insiteful and witty words onto this page when I was struck down by the most insidious and debilitating of germs, rending me virtually incapable of even the most basic of functions. The illness which can strike down half the population of the earth without mercy but is almost criminally misunderstood by the other half leading to slanderous accusations and hideous recrimination.

I am, of course, referring to...

MAN-FLU

Yes, my dear reader, Man-flu

It was terrible. For a moment it was touch and go. But you know what? Armed only with willpower and Beecham's capsules I pulled through. I was that man. I was that brave soldier who doesn't know when he's beaten. I went to work everyday. I refused to be beaten down. I stood tall, back straight, slightly wheezy chest out and firm jaw manfully set against a slowly waning sunset and I looked the Man-flu straight in the eye and I said "No! I refuse to stay home and watch Bargain Hunt, Loose Women and Cbeebies. I shall not yield."

And yield I did not dear reader. I struggled to work. I struggled to the pub on Friday night and I struggled to have those pints of lager.

And dear reader, I was victorious.


So now, I can say...

I'm back
It's been a long hard road and there were times when I stumbled but I never fell. Knowing you were here waiting on my words pulled me through those darkest of hours. And for that I can only say, inadequate as these words must surely be..

Thank you

*'Holding Out For a Hero' starts to play in the background. I stand tall as a single manly tear slowly rolls down my cheek*