Sunday 26 February 2017

The great CV conundrum

Well hello there my reader chums,

So it looks like I'm going to be on the move again. Mainly because, in a few short months, I'll be looking for work. Because the government and society doesn't really like people sitting around not doing very much. And I don't like Jeremy Kyle.

Which leaves me with two choices..
1: Stay in Scotland and try to get a new job up here.

or

2: Look for a job back down in deepest darkest Cheshire.

Now, unfortunately for Scotland, there are more job opportunities for my line of work in the North West of England so that's where I'll be concentrating my search.

Either way, it's a bit of a bugger. Well, quite a lot of a bugger. In fact, it's a major bugger.

Mainly because I've had to put together a cv. Which is about as much fun as having toothache and getting kicked in the knackers at the same time.

I mean, you only have to look on this t'interweb thingy and see there are hundreds of sites. No not that type of sites you dirty sods. The ones telling you what to put on the cv so that it will get you noticed by a potential future employer. And what not to put on it. Apparently I'm not supposed to put that I was the last man to go into space in a home made rocket, made first contact with an alien race, married their princess and stopped an interplanetary conflict by getting another alien ambassador completely bladdered. Just because that might not have ACTUALLY happened. I mean, really? They can't prove it didn't happen and if they go looking for any evidence then I could just say that the government have covered it up and the details are all locked in a vault for the next two hundred years or something..

'Surreal comic flights of fantasy are a no no' seems to be the message.

So I have to make myself sound windswept and interesting without lying about it. See, told you it was a tough one. Wonder if I could show them this blog...