An attempt at a piece of flash fiction - Like Ships That Pass In the Night

Hello to all my readers out there!

So , yes, as the title of this post suggests I am about to inflict a piece of my creative writing onto you all. It's a piece I was inspired to write yesterday when I was on a train journey and while it's not the most 'happy-clappy' of stories at least in this one no one dies or has their life turned upside down. I hope the piece is little slice of whimsical magic. Probably isn't like but one can try.

It's a piece of flash fiction. For those that don't know, that's a complete story which is told in only a couple of hundred words. I believe that maybe a thousand words in the upper most limit though someone may be able to correct me on that. So what you get is a little snap shot of life. In this case it's the story of two people going on a train journey...

And it's a first draft so it's a long way short of perfect so there are probably mistakes a plenty. But it's a start.

So here it is. It's called (for now anyway) 'Like ships That Pass In The Night'. Comments welcome...

Like Ships That Pass In The Night

He bounds the steps up to the station platform, breathing heavily in the cold winter air, just in time to see the train approaching from the slowly thickening mist. He sees that there is only one other person on the platform, a woman with a Costa coffee cup in her gloved hand, long brown hair underneath a grey woollen hat. He sees that next to her is a very large suitcase. The train pulls into the station and after an alarm beeps, the door slides open with a hiss. A few people get out and continue on their journey into the early evening gloom and he sees the woman is now struggling to get the case onto the train. He walks quickly over to her.

“Allow me,” he says

“Thank you,” she replies softly.

Grabbing the handle he lifts the case on to the carriage after the woman has got on to the train, storing it safely into the luggage area at their end of the car.

“There,” he says, “all done”

She smiles, nods, but says nothing. They both look down the carriage to see that there appears to be no empty seats, instead face after face looking at them with pity. Looks like you are both standing until the next station at least, they all seem to say.

“Standing room only then,” he says

The train moves away, slowly at first but rapidly gaining momentum and the man and woman stand together but apart.  There is a jolt as the train switches from one set of rails to another and the woman falls back slightly. Instinctively his hand comes up to stop her falling further.

“Are you alright?” He asks

“Yes fine,” she replies. “Didn’t even spill any of my coffee.”

“Wouldn’t want that”

“Far too precious. It’s the one rule I have. Never to spill any of my skinny latte.”

“I can see how much it means to you,” he says.

They fall once again into a silence only punctured by the sound of the train.

There is an announcement over the tannoy. They will soon be approaching the next station.

“My stop,” the woman says

“Would you like me to help you with the case?” He asks

“Thank you. That would be nice.”

The train once again slows to a stop and the doors open. The woman gets off and the man steps off with the suitcase. As he hands its over to her, their fingers gently touch and their eyes make one last contact. She smiles shyly and he finds himself doing the same.

“Thank you once again,” she says

“Don’t mention it. Hope you get home safely”

“And you.”

The man jumps back on the train as the doors slowly close.

As the train once again pulls away from the station he watches as the woman pulls the suitcase along the platform. As she disappears from view he wonders if he will ever see the lady with the skinny latte and shy smile again.